A Nice Coat of Blubber Would Be Nice When Winter Comes.

a strange man simply wakes up to find "what" scribbled in his garden. he washes himself with scrambled egg, puts his glasses in his pants & pulls up his trousers. there's a census taker knocking on his door & his orders for the day are nailed up on his mailbox reading that the route on junky monday is therefore as follows: two pints of jumpstart. a book of zulu sayings. citizen kane translated into dirty french. an orange television studio. three bibles each autographed by the hillbilly singer who can sing salty dog the fastest. the back page of a 1941 daily worker [for posterity]. a salty dog. any daughter of any district judge. a tablespoon of coke & sugar heated to 300 degrees. left ears. lots of left ears. seven pieces of some deadly passport. a corn on the cob. five wooden pillows. one boy scout resembling ted haggard & a stolen tightrope walker. "What" is in my garden, he says over the phone to his friend, wally the fireman. Wally replies "i dont know. i really couldn't say. i'm not there." The man says "what do you mean, you dont know! what is written in my garden" wally says "what?" the man says "that's right" . . . wally replies that he is on his way down a pole & asks the man if he sees any relationship between Katie couric & Tarzan? the man says "no, but i have some james baldwin & hemingway books" "not good enough" says wally, who again asks "what about a shrimp & an american flag? do you see any relationship between those two things?" the man says, "no, but I see Tarentino movies & i like Stravinsky quite a lot" wally tries again & says "could you tell me in a million words what the bill of rights has to do with a feather? " the man thinks for a minute & says "no i cant do that but i'm a great fan of henry miller" wally slams the phone & the man he gets back into bed & begins reading "The Meaning of an Orange" in german ... but by nightfall, he is bored. puts the book down & goes to shave while looking into a picture of thomas Edison. He decided over a bowl of milk to go out & have a good time & he opens the door & who's standing there but the census taker "i'm just a friend of the person who lives here" he says & goes back in the house & out the back door & down the street & into a bar with a moose head . . . the bartender gives him a double brandy, punches him in the groin & pushes him into a phone booth - obviously the man's crime is that he sees nothing resembling anything - he wipes the blood away from his groin with a hanky & decides to wait for a call. "What" is still written in his garden. the sun is still yellow. some people would say it's chicken ... wally's going down a pole, the census taker arrives to make a phone call & phone booths dont have back doors! junky monday driving, going down a one way street & turning into a friday the 13th ... Ah Wilderness! darkness! & he went five hours without a drink of water. “figure i'm ready for the desert. wanna come? I'll take along my dog.” he's always good for a laugh.

pick yuh up at seven
faithfully, piglet