Chapter 2?

CHAPTER 2

Now as I said before my conscious couldn’t bear the quasi-psuedo-epiphany. It was a contemptible balance of immense gravity and penetrating hilarity, which lead to my collapse and rebirth. I remember waking from my from my coma covered in Orange rinds with the dog drooling on my lap, apparently unsatisfied with citrus peel mastication. My eyes were dilating wildly, engaging in tug-of-war with the spectrum of visible light. My roommates were in a substance induced incapacitation, the remnants from the festive hours oddly strewn about. The squalor was deplorable. I remember running my hands through my unkempt hair, it had a honey wheat beer residue and pleasant odor. Chiseling the crust from my eyes, I began to recount the fugitive hours of my consciousness.

I had been having a lucid dream of sorts. The reverie had been odd and lengthy, a journey reminiscent of Mr. Dickens’ Scrooge. I saw familiar places and faces, contorted into countenances unbeknownst to me. It was poignant and irrational, fantastically applicable. Segments of the dream recur often, altered with current sub-conscious happenings, but largely intact enough to recount.

It began where my previous consciousness had lapsed, on the long green couch facing the picture window that looked out upon the various colored automobiles on the empty street. KNOCK. The door echoed with a classical beat. I stood up slowly, stretched and loped towards the door that stood adjacent to the picture window. I reached for the worn bronze knob and twisted. The door slid open towards me ominously. Outside light poured in, my eyes struggled to acclimate, an indistinct shadowy form stood before me. A sirens voice massaged my eardrums from the murk.
“I can show you the world.”
“Excuse me?” I croaked, puzzled.

My eyes began their instinctual adjustments; the voice’s indefinite form slowly and steadily became svelte and impeccably feminine.
“I can show you the world.”
The delicate voice tantalized my nape and encumbered my thinking.
“Uh..Please come in?” Stutter.

Taking a few steps back, I felt my way into the large black La-Z-Boy recliner that stood proximately to the window, and parked. Enveloped in plush pleather, I watched as the exceedingly feminine guest elegantly slid across the threshold. The figure turned and addressed me, and I began blinking in earnest awe at the manifestation before me.

She was the most astonishingly radiant Zucchini I’d ever laid eyes upon, a stunning luscious vegetable ripe with svelte delicate curves. The siren noticed my eyes teeming with longing; they roved her glorious green lined being. She turned away from my from my gaze hoping the spell would wane. I marveled at her nutritious buttocks and found the small of her back tattooed with a calligraphic barcode that read, 10.99 per pound. Her voice was markedly magnanimous, innocent and magnificent.
“Come with me if you want to live.”